Tuesday, 5 June 2007
The night of the 14 of June of 1994 began to feel badly.
He gave back the supper without digesting.
He had a headhache which was not common in him.
But he did not have fever.
In the morning he continued feeling worse.
He was coughing and throwing some frothy and rosy spittle.
We went to the Emergencies service to the Moncloa Clinic in 83 Valladolid Avenue.
When he was operated for the first time we were assured in SANITAS.
Doctor Artero Girao operated him in the Ruber Clinic.
We were no rich.
We could not have afforded that clinic services.
But my husband was a civil employee for the Spanish state.
He was a teacher of Drawing in a High Public School, called Mariano Jose de Larra.
So he belonged to MUFACE (An association for civil servants).
Therefore he could choose medically between being taken care of by the Spanish Public Health Service or a private organization.
He chose SANITAS when he found out that Doctor Artero worked for them.
We heard speak of he was a very good cardiac surgeon and Vicente wanted to be operated by him.
That operation came out very well.
Vicente got up itself to work before the month of to be implanted his valve.
But that valve had to be changed after 10 years by another mechanics one.
Although he had had threats, his cardiologist waited until the change of his valve was already essential because it was a risky operation.
The cardiologist asked for an ecocardiogram made to him in January, 1994, to begin to prepare him for the operation.
In some tests doctors discovered he was suffering from “litiasis” (stones in his vesicle).
After several studies made in April of 1994 it was decided that this operation would be made when the school year had finished.
Doctors would use the then new technique of “laparoscopia”, because it would have involved a smaller risk for him.
The change of his valve was postponed till his recovery.
14, June, 1994, Vicente went driving his own car to the clinic.
We arrived in the morning about 10:00AM.
Doctor Muffak Manla Barudi was a young doctor in guard.
Vicente was tested with 2 x-rays and an electroanalysis.
About 02:00PM doctor Manla told me:
- ‘Vicente does not have any important reason for a greater observation.
I insisted to him:
- `Doctor, Vicente, has been taking the valve put for already 15 years, and I believe that it has failed. I listen to a strange noise in his chest that he has never had before. I can hear a rubbing sound in his breathing accompanied by bubbling. And he throws rosy spittle. I would like him to be left here, in observation. I am very worried…'
Doctor Manla gave me a light tap on my back and with face of “she wants to know more than the doctor”, he told me:
- `Calm. He has only got a common cold. Well, if he feels worse you can bring him back again. '
Doctor Manla wrote in Vicente’s report: “Urgent pathology is not observed”.
Having we spent almost all the night without sleeping.
Without taking neither the breakfast nor drinking during the whole morning (in case he needed a blood test) we meandered till our car.
It was parked under the sun.
It was a furnace inside.
Vicente moved it in the shade and we waited for half an hour for it to cool off.
He was very pale, sweaty and he had a dry cough.
I suggested to him we called a taxi.
But Vicente was of those people who even take the car when they go to the toilet and very difficult to convince.
So he drove back home.
NOTE: You can see the Medical Informs above mentioned in these links (Sorry, they are in Spanish! (I'll try to translate them into English one day):
Ecocardiogram (24, January, 1994):
Before surgery Inform (23, March, 1994):
Doctor Manla's Inform ( 24, June, 1994):
It seems a long time.
But time doesn't exist.
It is only an invented meassure by human beigns for us to count on we are not living for ever.
Before reading what I'm going to write in this blog I want you to know it has been a great effort for me to start publishing a single word about my husband's death, Vicente.
If I'm doing this now, it is not for you, but for me.
I think it can make me good.
I asure you I am not a resentful person.
I wasn't born with this characteristic which, perhaps, could have been useful in some moments in my life.
Nothing I'll write is false.
But it will be under the crystal filter of how I had seen and I had felt.
I cannot be objective.
But I'll be not a liar either.
I'll write as I feel.
With my heart.
I cannot do it in a different way.
I hope you keep on reading till the end, if you like what I'm writing.
And you'll always have the option to surf farther and forget what you had read if you don't like it.
Nobody can write to please everybody.
But I am not going to write for anybody's pleasure.
I'm also taking the risk that nobody reads what I'm writing.
I'd not be sorry for me, but because it'd be, again, ignoring the existence of somebody who was important in my own life, my children's, and in almost everybody's one who once met him.
If you had read till here perhas you may want to keep on further.
That being so I'll wait for you here, whenever you want, for you to continue doing it.
I hope not to disappoint you.
They have spent 13 years. It seems long time. But the time does not exist. It is a measurement invented by the human beings so that we count whereupon we are not ether to us.Before you read what I am going to write in this blog I want that you know that it has cost to me to decide much to me to publish a single word on the death of my husband, Vicente.If I do it now, it is not by you, but by me.I believe that it will do to me well.I assure to you that I am not rencorosa. I was not born with characteristic her who perhaps me had been useful some moments of my life.Nothing of writes it will be false. But it will be leaked by the crystal of how I have seen and felt.I cannot be objective.But I will not be mentirosa either.I will write, so and as I feel. With the heart.I cannot do it of another form.